“Some of the best experiences don’t end with a bang, but rather a dose of reality.”
Abbi Jacobson words were like looking into my own heart and mind. So sit back friends because I believe I’m about to get personal in true Abbi fashion…
“What do you want with your life?” “How far is it to X city?” “Should I say no to the fries and yes to the salad?” “Will I bump into my ex?” These are all things that go through my mind, probably a lot of other people too, and our main girl Abbi Jacobson. She is one of the producers of the show Broad City and God, I love her. Every page I turned and just kept saying yes and praying that we would meet one day and become fast friends. Obviously, the probability that we meet is probably ZERO chance. Abbi has decided that she will go on a cross country road trip from New York City to Los Angeles to give her time to ponder and be on her own, make her own decision, and grab life by the balls! What we get here are her person ramblings of her time on her own, reflections on the world from Climate Change to Sexual Harassment to keeping in touch with friends.
Extremely relatable, her decision to get in a car and drive West is incited by one of the ultimate universal feelings loss and heartbreak.
“That ultimately I’m admitting that I’m scared of being alone. But aren’t we all? Isn’t that… the main thing? Aren’t we all secretly terrified that we’re not understood, not seen, not loved, not wanted? Okay, great, cleared that up.”
Life is hard friends. We all know it. Obviously, we aren’t immune to the suffering of the world and Abbi makes that extremely clear in her book, but it doesn’t lessen the pain we feel when we’ve put our heart on the line only for it to get completely mangled. Pain happens in degrees but it is still pain. Heartbreak is universal. If not then why are there so many damn poems about it? So many songs about failed love? Abbi makes clear the excruciating agony that comes with losing love after being closed off to vulnerable emotions for so long. It can be life-shattering to feel EVERYTHING and nothing all at once. Like you’ll never feel whole again. When thoughts of him (or her) attack you at a moments notice while you’re picking up lentils at the grocery store and you feel your body lurch to the side just a bit and you become imbalanced because you remember, “They don’t exist in your life anymore.” When you get those texts at 4:45 a.m. and your heart squeezes because you know who you are hoping it is and isn’t and you’re scolding your traitorous hand to stay put and not check the message. You know it’s going to hurt, but we still do it.
Abbi goes through this. She acknowledges this and holds on to it like so many of us do. But it’s okay to feel this. It’s okay to be heartbroken, to feel lost, to feel like you don’t know what direction your heart is going. We can feel all these things and more but we keep going… despite the hurt. You got this darling.
We got this. 💗